There was this one episode of Barney where they were trying to get in the magical forest and the elf wouldn’t let them through and she was like “you have to stand on one finger” and she did a handstand but like on only her index finger. Then little black dude was like “I can stand on one finger!” and he literally stepped on his finger.

I thought that was the funniest joke ever. It still is. Omg.

All I ever do is eat and sleep.

And the only reason I sleep is to stop myself from eating.

africans:

yo mama’s so fat that she took a look at her life and realized she wanted a change so she joined a dieting group and started eating better and exercising more and she got down to her goal weight and now looks and feels better than ever and its very inspirational good for her

Oh my god. The Africans across the street are having a party and they are soooooo loud.

reduktive:

straight but gay-friendly?

probably gay

straight and homophobic?

probably a closeted gay

cockstreetboys:

how do you circumcise a redneck?

kick his sister in the jaw